Though you are not aware of it, you have created a very effective anxiety-management system, and that system is what we call the immunity to change...This hidden dimension resides at the level of feelings rather than cognitive thought. It is not anxious but is devoted to managing anxiety...But we run these systems--even highly successful anxiety-management systems--at a cost. Inevitably, they create blind spots, prevent new learning, and constantly constrain action in some aspects of our living. These costs show up when we are unable to deliver on some genuinely desired change, the realization of which would bring us to a new, higher level of functioning in ways we truly want to attain. --RK & LLL
This book has truly been insightful and I'm just beginning. It seems that we all have areas we want to improve in our lives, and in particular, our mental patterns. However, we stubbornly resist change, or so we think. The authors uncover why that change is so difficult to make. They explain that people usually apply a "technical solution" as opposed to an "adaptive solution." The technical solution looks something like this: I'm not easy-going enough and that's how I want to be. So, I just need not to be so uptight; I need to let things go."
But, the uptight person doesn't get to the point where they can just let things go so they are stuck in the same pattern. We all understand that the intellectual answer is easy, but the doing is difficult. The authors explain that the reason it's so difficult to abandon the "problem behavior" is not just because it's ingrained in us (a typical explanation), but because it provides an important function. It reduces anxiety. That's why they call it an immunity to change, to put these behaviors in proper light. See the good and the bad of that behavior. Perhaps being uptight means you get a lot accomplished and after having accomplished so many things for so many years, it has been not just rewarded socially, but internally satisfying too. The hidden fear might be something like this: "If I give up my uptight disposition, I will not get the tasks accomplished that I must take care of. I will just become a lazy blob, completely unproductive and [gasp] worthless." These are hidden assumptions that the anxiety-management system has been dealing with. You don't feel anxious because this system has been operating to mitigate those dreaded outcomes. In other words, you've avoided disaster because you've let your anxiety-management system run on autopilot. It's served you and that's why it can't be so easily dismissed. To simply let things go translates to (albeit a hidden feeling-assumption) leading your life into disaster.
But, as the authors mentioned, the cost is that we cannot realize those changes we truly and sincerely want to make. When people fail to make the prescribed changes we blame a lack of willpower. We blame all kinds of character defects. We say they are actually insincere in their willingness to change. And with that stroke of judgment, the discussion is over. We now feel secure in our reasons of why that person doesn't want to change. We generally have a little more sympathy for ourselves, but maybe just a little.
The authors encouraged the organizational leaders they worked with (for the past 25 years) to expose these underlying assumptions and benefits of their anxiety-management systems. Only by exposing them and showing them as objective styles of behavior instead of unalterable character traits (the space between what I am and what I do) can we begin to make progress in creating the change we actually want. My understanding is that this is a process. Basically, you have to gently and kindly coax the anxiety-management system away from the cockpit. You have to let it know, in a non-threatening way, that the plane won't crash if it leaves the cockpit. Perhaps another can take over for awhile? Then, you can begin the work of adapting your mindset.
Sometimes, it's so strange to me that we can be so blind to simple changes. They feel revolutionary, and they are, but when explained, they feel so natural, so basic. It's like no effort was really needed to understand and now you've come to this understanding, wholly and without conflict. That's the revolution. That's insight!
This book has truly been insightful and I'm just beginning. It seems that we all have areas we want to improve in our lives, and in particular, our mental patterns. However, we stubbornly resist change, or so we think. The authors uncover why that change is so difficult to make. They explain that people usually apply a "technical solution" as opposed to an "adaptive solution." The technical solution looks something like this: I'm not easy-going enough and that's how I want to be. So, I just need not to be so uptight; I need to let things go."
But, the uptight person doesn't get to the point where they can just let things go so they are stuck in the same pattern. We all understand that the intellectual answer is easy, but the doing is difficult. The authors explain that the reason it's so difficult to abandon the "problem behavior" is not just because it's ingrained in us (a typical explanation), but because it provides an important function. It reduces anxiety. That's why they call it an immunity to change, to put these behaviors in proper light. See the good and the bad of that behavior. Perhaps being uptight means you get a lot accomplished and after having accomplished so many things for so many years, it has been not just rewarded socially, but internally satisfying too. The hidden fear might be something like this: "If I give up my uptight disposition, I will not get the tasks accomplished that I must take care of. I will just become a lazy blob, completely unproductive and [gasp] worthless." These are hidden assumptions that the anxiety-management system has been dealing with. You don't feel anxious because this system has been operating to mitigate those dreaded outcomes. In other words, you've avoided disaster because you've let your anxiety-management system run on autopilot. It's served you and that's why it can't be so easily dismissed. To simply let things go translates to (albeit a hidden feeling-assumption) leading your life into disaster.
But, as the authors mentioned, the cost is that we cannot realize those changes we truly and sincerely want to make. When people fail to make the prescribed changes we blame a lack of willpower. We blame all kinds of character defects. We say they are actually insincere in their willingness to change. And with that stroke of judgment, the discussion is over. We now feel secure in our reasons of why that person doesn't want to change. We generally have a little more sympathy for ourselves, but maybe just a little.
The authors encouraged the organizational leaders they worked with (for the past 25 years) to expose these underlying assumptions and benefits of their anxiety-management systems. Only by exposing them and showing them as objective styles of behavior instead of unalterable character traits (the space between what I am and what I do) can we begin to make progress in creating the change we actually want. My understanding is that this is a process. Basically, you have to gently and kindly coax the anxiety-management system away from the cockpit. You have to let it know, in a non-threatening way, that the plane won't crash if it leaves the cockpit. Perhaps another can take over for awhile? Then, you can begin the work of adapting your mindset.
Sometimes, it's so strange to me that we can be so blind to simple changes. They feel revolutionary, and they are, but when explained, they feel so natural, so basic. It's like no effort was really needed to understand and now you've come to this understanding, wholly and without conflict. That's the revolution. That's insight!
